Sorrowful Father
Tuesday, September 24 | 0 comments
You are the UNICA HIJA.
The only next female Tamondong in my Father's Side.
I was raised as a spoiled daughter, whatever Diane wants, Diane gets.
But I am no spoiled at all, I only need care and protection.
I never told my father the line "I want that" nor "I want this".
But one line I have told him, that made him regret for doing the favor. It was 2018 back then.
I had a chit chat with my mother, it was breakfast
I saw my mother's tears, trying to stop from falling on her cheeks.
Then she asked me, patiently and in grieve, "How are you?"
I was so afraid that she might be angry and give me a sermon.
But no, she wasn't.. She asked me if I am doing great.
I want to cry, I want to release all the pain I have suffered for 8 months.
My heart wants to shout that I am not okay, I have been beaten and I have been cursed.
"I'm okay, we're okay", that's what I told her with pain and depression.
I lied to her for a million times, and that was the worst lie.
Her eyes turned red but still, trying to stop her tears from falling.
Then she asked me again, she asked the same question while her voice was shaking.
For the second time, I told her the same answer...
I was thinking if I tell her the truth, I have passed the burden to her shoulders.
Which I don't want to make her suffer more, I endured the pain. No she won't be the next.
She then told me that there must no 3rd time arguing that issue with my father.
You wanna know why?.. Well because, my father already got his gun in the house this time.
And my mother didn't want to reach the point where my father would trigger that.
For the first time, my father cried because of me.
He was so disappointed and upset, and yes, SOOOO disappointed.
He took care of me for 26 years, he protected me from shits.
He gave everything I need, he taught me good deeds and how to be strong.
He did all that for me, just to be mistreated by my husband.
Yes, he did cry because he was so disappointed by accepting my favor.
My favor to accept and grant the marriage for you, Jayson.
But you failed him, all his pain and sacrifices just to make us happy and healthy.
YOU FAILED HIM TO BE PROUD THAT HE CHOSE THE RIGHT DECISION.
He saw you how you treat me, you showed him that I must follow your demands.
He heard you shouting at me because of that stupid Mobile Legends Game.
He noticed my swollen eyes the morning when you got mad at me last night.
And NO, he didn't say anything, he didn't confronted me nor you.
But he was in pain, realizing if am I really in the good hands after everything he sacrificed.
I was his UNICA HIJA. The precious diamond you stole from him.
And it was so hard for him that he might even asked this to himself for you,
Do you want your daughter suffer the same way how you treat my daughter?
After all those years of sacrifices and pain you have through for your daughter,
And he will just crash your daughter's character in less than a year.
He cried not because of you, not because of me, nor because of what you did.
He cried because he chose to believe in me and do the favor I asked him.
Because he believed in my words that you are worthy enough to fight for.
I am in so much pain and depress, that I almost thought I might suffer from mental illness.
Because of too much endurance and martyrdom, I can't even release it from me.
But all of this was just a pinch of pain to my father.
He is more in pain than I have, and I'm sorry dad, I failed you..
I wish we could go back when I was 8 years old, you holding me, buying a cotton candy.
Combing my messy hair, massaging my candle fingers, telling fairy-tale stories.
Walk with you along the beach, where sunsets seem within reach,
Searching for treasures in the sand, as we walk hand in hand..
I love you so much Papa, I hope you still know that..
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Dany
I'm Diane, born in Dagupan City Pangasinan, Philippines on July 18, 1992.
I grew up in Saudi Arabia for more than 8 years.
Graduated in Saint Louis University Baguio with a degree of BS Computer Science.
I describe myself as a designer, an analyst, a gamer, a singer and a layout artist.
Food is Life!.
Sorrowful Father
Tuesday, September 24 | 0 comments
You are the UNICA HIJA.
The only next female Tamondong in my Father's Side.
I was raised as a spoiled daughter, whatever Diane wants, Diane gets.
But I am no spoiled at all, I only need care and protection.
I never told my father the line "I want that" nor "I want this".
But one line I have told him, that made him regret for doing the favor. It was 2018 back then.
I had a chit chat with my mother, it was breakfast
I saw my mother's tears, trying to stop from falling on her cheeks.
Then she asked me, patiently and in grieve, "How are you?"
I was so afraid that she might be angry and give me a sermon.
But no, she wasn't.. She asked me if I am doing great.
I want to cry, I want to release all the pain I have suffered for 8 months.
My heart wants to shout that I am not okay, I have been beaten and I have been cursed.
"I'm okay, we're okay", that's what I told her with pain and depression.
I lied to her for a million times, and that was the worst lie.
Her eyes turned red but still, trying to stop her tears from falling.
Then she asked me again, she asked the same question while her voice was shaking.
For the second time, I told her the same answer...
I was thinking if I tell her the truth, I have passed the burden to her shoulders.
Which I don't want to make her suffer more, I endured the pain. No she won't be the next.
She then told me that there must no 3rd time arguing that issue with my father.
You wanna know why?.. Well because, my father already got his gun in the house this time.
And my mother didn't want to reach the point where my father would trigger that.
For the first time, my father cried because of me.
He was so disappointed and upset, and yes, SOOOO disappointed.
He took care of me for 26 years, he protected me from shits.
He gave everything I need, he taught me good deeds and how to be strong.
He did all that for me, just to be mistreated by my husband.
Yes, he did cry because he was so disappointed by accepting my favor.
My favor to accept and grant the marriage for you, Jayson.
But you failed him, all his pain and sacrifices just to make us happy and healthy.
YOU FAILED HIM TO BE PROUD THAT HE CHOSE THE RIGHT DECISION.
He saw you how you treat me, you showed him that I must follow your demands.
He heard you shouting at me because of that stupid Mobile Legends Game.
He noticed my swollen eyes the morning when you got mad at me last night.
And NO, he didn't say anything, he didn't confronted me nor you.
But he was in pain, realizing if am I really in the good hands after everything he sacrificed.
I was his UNICA HIJA. The precious diamond you stole from him.
And it was so hard for him that he might even asked this to himself for you,
Do you want your daughter suffer the same way how you treat my daughter?
After all those years of sacrifices and pain you have through for your daughter,
And he will just crash your daughter's character in less than a year.
He cried not because of you, not because of me, nor because of what you did.
He cried because he chose to believe in me and do the favor I asked him.
Because he believed in my words that you are worthy enough to fight for.
I am in so much pain and depress, that I almost thought I might suffer from mental illness.
Because of too much endurance and martyrdom, I can't even release it from me.
But all of this was just a pinch of pain to my father.
He is more in pain than I have, and I'm sorry dad, I failed you..
I wish we could go back when I was 8 years old, you holding me, buying a cotton candy.
Combing my messy hair, massaging my candle fingers, telling fairy-tale stories.
Walk with you along the beach, where sunsets seem within reach,
Searching for treasures in the sand, as we walk hand in hand..
I love you so much Papa, I hope you still know that..
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