The Love of my Life

Wednesday, June 4 | 0 comments


October 24, the date when the colors in life danced with me. The day when my prayers were answered after the struggles that came through my way. Yes, I found him, I found the love of my life, I felt the perfection in life. I have no wish anymore after that, because every single day I thank God He gave me the guy who loved me, the guy who can take care of me than before, the guy who completes me, the guy who supports me, the guy who treats me like a princess, like his Queen, like his half..

I always say Good Morning to him because every morning is another day to love him, to thank him, to cherish him, to make him happy..

I always say "Lunch na tayo" because I want him healthy, I know that work is important to him but some days he couldn't have his lunch because he's too busy at work and sometimes he doesn't like the food.

I always say Good Night because I want him to sleep well without any doubts nor worries, I want him to feel he's special before he goes to sleep. I always thank him also as possible that I could everytime he exerts effort. And I never missed my Goodnight messages without "I love you", because I want him to know that I love him so much and not because in the past, past is past and it will stay a past and I will not let my past ruin my future..

I know this is tough, I know moving on takes time to heal. I know that he still misses her at some time even though he doesn't tell me, because I know I cannot beat 8 years, I know that.. But because I love him, I accepted it until I confronted him about it..

June 02 2014, same week last year when he left me.. Who would probably forget the time when you lost your love? Today I wrote this, June 04, is the day before tomorrow when he left me. It's already one year when my life starts fading, the colors in my life starts to gray, the most painful I've encountered.. I still remember those days, it was remarkable. Then he came back, yes, it was my birthday. I'm so happy because he came back, because he loved me again. But those days I already felt that he still doesn't forget her. I didn't tell him because I know it's true. And now, it did happened again.. I started to hate myself, why does my love always leave me?..

I let him go, it hurts yes but I must let him. I can't stop crying even in my office, I just really can't.. I always pray for his happiness, I hope he finds his way, his real happiness, his Prince, his real him and I'll be ok to that. They say everything is not permanent, you just have to love it no matter what, take care of it, fight for it and accept it so that it will be yours, forever..

I guess it will be the end of us, I'll never get over him, because I want him to be my last and our happy moments will let me go on in life. It will always be, he will always be, and he will be My Forever.

A fear of Lies

Sunday, January 8 | 0 comments


I've never thought of having such an unforgettable moment this Sunday. I woke up in the morning, 9:23am. I was very happy to greet my boyfriend in a simple text. That day, I know it's Mr. and Ms. Sportsfest of MRH and LRH but I'm expecting that we will be having a great time in SM even though they have an event in school. But, it didn't happened...

It's already 10:53am when I texted him again to woke up. After 7 minutes of waiting, he replied and greeted me a good morning. He also invited me to go to the sportsfest, I have no choice but to say yes not because It's automatic that I must go, but because I want to be with him. So I asked him if he's already preparing because I know that sportfest is 7:30am up to lunch time only. He said that he is already preparing and ready to have a bath. So I've started to heat my water and give him time to prepare because I know that he's too slow and probably I'll wait him again in front of their dorm. Honestly, I only took less than 20 minutes in bathroom because I know that we only have less than 1 hour to go to the sportsfest. After a while, he texted me that the sportsfest is almost done. But after I read his message, I've realized that for the first time he only took 20 minutes to prepare. So I asked him where he is, he replied that he's already in the venue with his friends. I was SHOCKED.

I replied him because it's really impossible to have 20 minutes to have a shower, wear clothes and go quickly to the venue. Even though I'm telling to myself that "Be Optimistic!", I can't answer my question HOW IT HAPPENED...?

Then I started to ask him so many questions already to figure it out. But sadly, he misunderstood me.. (as always, everytime I asked him). So I grabbed the mistakes, and I tried to understand him. But suddenly, he told me the truth... He's already done preparing everything before he greeted me a good morning, and for that 20 minutes that I'm thinking about, he went to the sportsfest already. It's really hard for me to accept it. I don't want him to know my feelings, because I know in the end, my feelings are useless.. my tears.. my effort.. and my expectations...

A feeling of Unlucky..

Thursday, November 24 | 0 comments

"Pain between me and my brother"

It was 7:30pm when we went to Mcdo to have our dinner, it was so cold and dark outside the house. While walking to go home, my brother told me about his allowance that it must be P8k because I didn't gave his P500 this month (for the reason that, I forgot that our rental was increased by P1,500.00 so I decided to get 500 from his allowance, my allowance and our budget for grocery). I told him that before and he didn't react so I thought he agreed about my decision. Then after telling me about the 8k, I asked him if he don't want to donate his 500 to the rental. He replied, "No! It's your fault... You forgot it so don't get my money". I didn't replied him...

When we got home, he keeps talking and talking that it's all my fault. I was too disappointed because I know that I told him about that before and he didn't disagreed, so I kept singing and pretending that I don't listen to him. Then he totally got mad, he slapped me, he punched me, and he slapped me over and over again. Until he stopped and say something against me, he started to shout too. He told me that, "I'll tell mom that you spend all our money without listing it and without my permission, I'll also tell mom that kaiser is still visiting here and you also slept with someone! Next month, give me all the money and I'll do what is right, not like you! If I'm the one who's in charge with that money, maybe we already have too much money right now! oh? why you're not answering me?!". I want to cry that time, but I must not.. So I answered him, "I have no time to argue with you...", then he keeps on yelling at me.

I was thinking that time that, am I lucky to have a brother like him? or will I be a good wife in my future husband if I kept his advice? Because next year, I'll be a graduating student. Thinking that, my brother is more mature than what I am right now. I remembered that when we were in Saudi Arabia, my brother is brutal than what I does to him. He's punching me, slapping me, pulling my hair too hard that I almost lost more than 20 strands of my hair. Even though I'm already crying in front of him, he's still not satisfied of what he's doing to me. I almost got 3-5 bruise in all of my body, he's also punching me near my breast, thinking that there's no "breast cancer"... I feel sorry for myself having those experience. And I don't know whom I can cry on, lean on, and tell them that I'm so hopeless in my life, especially when me and kaiser having a quarrel.

I'll just thank God for having me a 3 meals a day. =\

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn

Saturday, November 19 | 0 comments

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn

I'd just watch Breaking Dawn yesterday with my friends Gayle, Jer, Julie, and of course my bf Kaiser.. It's SOOO COOL! and I love the story.. Edward and Bella got married and had a sweet honeymoon near in the beach... It is full moon and had a nice view of that place and I wanna go there.. There's comedy scene which Edward got jealous. Also, bella died in this movie! :(

well, watch it! It's so funny, romantic and cool.. also jacob's body.. hahaha.. :D

2nd Post


I'm 80% done in my page.!
I hope that this would be my last blog with full of memories..
gonna start my blog tomorrow! :D

my first blog


Today, it's gonna be a hard time for me to change everything in this blog...
Honestly, I don't use other's work. But this time I just copy paste and then edit it. so I have to change some codes in HTML to fit in my style.
Probably, it takes HOURS! LOL.. well, let's see if I'm still good at HTML..
It's a LONG LONG time since I stopped using my blog.. =\

I've deleted my previous post because it's so funny.. hahaha..
I'll just start all over again

Daenerys Targaryen