"Pain between me and my brother"

It was 7:30pm when we went to Mcdo to have our dinner, it was so cold and dark outside the house. While walking to go home, my brother told me about his allowance that it must be P8k because I didn't gave his P500 this month (for the reason that, I forgot that our rental was increased by P1,500.00 so I decided to get 500 from his allowance, my allowance and our budget for grocery). I told him that before and he didn't react so I thought he agreed about my decision. Then after telling me about the 8k, I asked him if he don't want to donate his 500 to the rental. He replied, "No! It's your fault... You forgot it so don't get my money". I didn't replied him...

When we got home, he keeps talking and talking that it's all my fault. I was too disappointed because I know that I told him about that before and he didn't disagreed, so I kept singing and pretending that I don't listen to him. Then he totally got mad, he slapped me, he punched me, and he slapped me over and over again. Until he stopped and say something against me, he also started to shout. He told me that, "I'll tell mom that you spend all our money without listing it and without my permission, I'll also tell mom that you are flirty and you also slept with someone! Next month, give me all the money and I'll do what is right, not like you! If I'm the one who's in charge with that money, maybe we already have too much money right now! oh? why you're not answering me?!". I want to cry that time, but I must not.. So I answered him, "I have no time to argue with you...", then he keeps on yelling at me.

I was thinking that time that, am I lucky to have a brother like him? or will I be a good wife in my future husband if I kept his advice? Because next year, I'll be a graduating student. Thinking that, my brother is more mature than what I am right now. I remembered that when we were in Saudi Arabia, my brother is brutal than what I did to him. He's punching me, slapping me, pulling my hair too hard. Even though I'm already crying in front of him, he's still not satisfied of what he was doing. I almost got 3-5 bruises in all of my body, he's also punching me near my breast, wishing that there's no "breast cancer" soon... I feel sorry for myself having those experience. And I don't know whom I can cry on, lean on, and tell them that I'm so hopeless in my life, especially when me and boyfriend having a quarrel.

I'll just thank God for having me a 3 meals a day. =\